Abayas

In case you hadn't heard, we moved from Riyadh, the capitol city in Saudi, to Al Khobar--which is 4 hours east. Riyadh was pretty much in the middle of the country. Now we live almost directly East of it, near Dammam on the map below.

There are interesting differences between the two regions. One of the differences is how they wear the abaya. All women in Saudi Arabia are required to wear a black robe, or abaya, when they go out -- regardless of religion. I own three abayas. I realize that sounds ridiculous (why would anyone ever need 3 abayas, right?), but I'll explain why a little later in this post. Head scarves and face coverings are not required for non-Muslims... unless the Matawa (religious police) tell you to cover your head. That hasn't happened to me yet though. Many abayas come with a matching head scarf, and if it doesn't, often times you can ask the store you got it from to make you one. I just drape the head scarf around my neck so I can have it available at all times just in case I either get asked to cover my head by the Matawa, or if I'd like to feel more comfortable/blend in more. Riyadh, the capitol city of Saudi Arabia is one of the most conservative cities, and so I would sometimes wear both my head covering and face covering when going to places like the outdoor markets.

This picture below is me last year on one really hot summer day going to one of the spice markets in Riyadh. I am wearing basketball shorts and a t-shirt (and no make-up) underneath my abaya. It sure makes getting ready for the day easier:

Though here in Al Khobar, I don't think I've covered my head once. It is interesting to see the differences between regions of Saudi Arabia, and how they wear the abaya.

Some abayas have designs along the cuffs or down the buttoned front. Most Saudi women in Riyadh just wear a plain black one with a face covering so that only their eyes are visible. And then some women's faces are completely veiled -- even their eyes. However here on the East side of Saudi Arabia where we have lived for a few months now, women are much less conservative about how they wear it. I've seen some women walking around with the bottom half of their abaya partially unbuttoned so you could see their jeans from their knees on down. I've also noticed much more color in the abayas here. Far fewer women wear the head and face coverings as well.

Because every woman wears an abaya, having a coat rack hanging inside your door was pretty much a necessity in Riyadh where women must wear their abaya at all times in public, even in the car. I can't remember one house that I visited that didn't have a coat rack in the entry way. That way when you have friends over, there is somewhere to put the gazillion Abayas that would otherwise be strewn all over your furniture. Interestingly enough, I don't think I've seen any entryway coat closets anywhere in Saudi.

Here I rarely see any coat racks in my expat friends' houses -- probably because you are not required to wear your abaya in the car here. So I can leave my house in the privacy of our compound without wearing my abaya (though I do bring it into the car just in case I need to stop at a grocery store later, or something), drive to our friends' house, and exit the car in the privacy of their compound. All without having to put on an abaya or even bring it in someone else's house. I think that has been the nicest change about living on the east side of Saudi Arabia. It has been a change, that frankly, I didn't think would make much of a difference. But I was so wrong! It makes life easier when I can climb over seats in the car to feed a bottle to a crying baby without having to hurdle a bucket seat while wearing an abaya. Or diaper changing in the car (more on that later). Or being very, very warm when it reaches 120 degrees and you are wearing all black. Of course, women here wear it all the time and don't complain; so I figure I need to just get used to it. Summer time is coming, so we'll see how much I can embrace my abaya then! :)

Here's our lovely abaya coat rack with four Abayas on it.

When I arrived in Riyadh, Nathan had purchased an abaya for me three months previously. But because I was way more pregnant when I finally arrived, my abaya was really form-fitting. Plus the sleeves were above my wrists, and the bottom hem ended above my ankles (both no-nos). Here in Khobar, having an abaya that was just barely too short on the bottom or a little short on the sleeves probably wouldn't bother me too much. But in Riyadh, I definitely stood out and felt much more uncomfortable. So as soon as we could find an abaya shop (in a grocery store here called HyperPanda), we bought a bigger one. It has pink/purple designs around the cuffs and down the buttons in the middle. Also sewn in are little jewels near the buttons.  

Now that I'm not pregnant anymore, that new abaya is gigantic. So I bought a third abaya from a custom abaya store. (BTW, abaya stores are all over the malls and markets over here. It's amazing how many different styles you can have originating from the same basic kind of clothing style and colors.) My third one is much better...though now I have plans in my head to buy a fourth one, because I have found features of this one that I'm not a fan of.

I've been told that many Muslim women know all the year's latest styles and can tell you if what you're wearing is out-of-date based on the designs/trim on it! 

There have been several times that we've rushed out the door and I've forgotten my abaya, so we have to turn around and go back to grab it. It certainly took some getting used to.  

I have to be careful that when we're at a mall on an escalator that my abaya doesn't get caught as I'm stepping off. Some stores even have signs near the front of an escalator saying, "Please watch your abaya." I'm also always stepping on it (or shutting it in the car door) when getting in and out of the car.

Bathrooms

Perhaps the greatest challenge is figuring out what to do with your abaya in a restroom. In some small fast food restaurants, there is a single unisex bathroom. But there are usually no hooks anywhere to hang up your abaya! Combine that with a lot of mis-squirted bidet water on the ground, and it gets hard to not accidentally have your abaya dip in the puddle of water in the stall. I usually end up having to figure out a way to fold it multiple times and drape it over the door handle. Once there was a very tall squeegee leaning up against the wall (used to push the bidet water into the drain) in the bathroom, so I was able to hang it on that.

Here's your typical bathroom. Notice no toilet paper. I always carry my own small tissue package just in case. It only took one time of being stranded in a stall without toilet paper that I've learned to carry my own. Those little travel Kleenex tissue packs were made for people who live in countries where toilet paper isn't provided in-stall! Those are life savers and have become a permanent fixture in my diaper bag (i.e. purse). In Riyadh, there was rarely toilet paper. Here in Khobar, though, most places have toilet paper.

Bidets lead to gross, wet, nasty floor. This stall had a nice sit-down toilet and a small toilet paper dispenser. The toilet paper here is more like tissue paper. It's very thin and comes out like a napkin dispenser in separate squares.

There have been multiple times where I come out and the the bottom hem of my abaya is wet. I just try to ignore it, though that's easier said than done.

One of the bathrooms that holds my personal record for most wet floors in the stalls was IKEA in Riyadh. Here we are on our shopping trip there (notice the fully-covered women behind us?) IKEA was a very popular place in Riyadh. The parking lot seemed to always be overflowing---especially in the evenings:

Eating 

Another challenge is eating. My sleeves hang down 4-6 inches (my next dream abaya will have narrow sleeves all the way up to the armpit). When we're at restaurants, it is really difficult to reach for anything on the table, because your sleeve inevitably brushes over your plate or the other food on the table. So reaching for something becomes a two-hand task. One hand is used to hold the abaya sleeve out of the way while you reach for something. 

One time my daughter spilled some sour cream on the floor of the restaurant. The waiter came and cleaned it up, but he missed a huge chunk of it because it had splashed under my abaya. It wasn't until we were done eating, that I realized it was all over my shoes and all over the bottom hem of my abaya. White sour cream on a black abaya doesn't look very pretty.

BTW, I have the same problem with diapers. Try changing a diaper in public (so I can't take my abaya off) with droopy sleeves. Long abaya sleeves are pretty much impossible to keep out of a diaper when you're trying to wipe your baby's bum. Is this TMI, yet? Nathan has changed a lot of diapers thanks to this abaya. You know, on second thought....maybe I'll keep my droopy sleeves. ;)

I've seen abayas with elastic bands around the wrist to make navigating situations like that a little easier. They aren't exactly pretty in my opinion, but they're functional. 

So here's how big I feel like my current abaya sleeves are:

And here's the type of abaya sleeves I want (isn't this one pretty?):

Tips for buying an abaya

Obvoiusly, get one that covers the ankles, but doesn't drag on the ground when walking. I've had both an over-the-head abaya and one that has little snaps down the front. The over-the-head abaya is just plain difficult to get on and off, especially without messing up your hair. And when you're in a hurry it can be cumbersome. 

The abaya with snaps has the opposite problem. The snaps come undone all the time. If you sit down and move your legs just slightly the wrong way, all the sudden you've accidentally caused a snap (or two or three) to come undone. Or try getting in or out of a really tall SUV both without lifting your abaya too high, and at the same time not stepping so high that your snaps come undone. I recommend a fully zippered abaya My third (and newest) abaya is zippered, and it's so wonderful to finally be able move freely without worry! That eliminates both the too-hard-to-get-on-and-off problem and the too-easy-to-come-on-and-off problem. Most abaya shops can also do some tailoring and put pockets in. But since putting a phone in an abaya pocket makes my abaya all saggy, I had them put a slit in the inside bottom seam of the pocket. That way, I can reach my hand "through" my abaya pocket and grab my phone that's in my jeans pocket. I love this feature; especially since I never carry a purse to put my phone in.

I found this abaya wash at a Tamimi's (Safeway) grocery store. I haven't used abaya wash (I've been successful with just warm water in my sink), but I may have to get some one day. One thing for sure, is that they got really dirty, really fast in Riyadh. There was dust on everything. So getting in and out of your car and going up and down steps outside buildings was an automatic way to dirty your abaya.

Other Random Things, Including the Princess Souk in Riyadh

Since we've moved 10 minutes from the gulf coast now, things are much less dusty here. This is our car in Riyadh last year, with a unicorn pegasus (technically it's Princess Celestia from My Little Ponies) drawn in the dust. I wonder what little daughter drew that.... :-) The funny thing is when we asked her if she drew that, fearing she'd be in trouble, she denied it. She blamed it on her brother. Apparently she wants us to believe he's a Bronie.

The "Princess Souk" (souk=shop/market) has tons of abayas in it for really cheap. I even found this (ripoff?) Chanel one! (Yes, I checked and Chanel actually does have an abaya line!) I hear this particular souk got its name because it's where all the Saudi princesses donate their dresses after they've worn them once or twice. They did have some really beautiful ones there, but I didn't have enough time to shop for myself. However I did get this dress for one of my best friends back in the States. She is always dressing up crazy and pranking people, and I knew this dress was made for her:

And these dresses were equally as amazing. Unfortunately I had to leave them for some other lucky woman to buy:

 As I was in the waiting room of my dentist's office, saw this magazine. One of the articles was interesting to me.

The articles states that they didn't like the idea of a local university banning colored abayas: 

I found that fascinating that this article was even published. I've actually never saw anyone wear colored abayas in Riyadh, because from what I understand, the matawa (religious police) could impose some penalty if you are caught wearing any abaya other than a black one. But again, there is a bit more color in people's abayas here on the east side, which is where this article's University is.

Here's another picture from that magazine. I was suprised at the time (when we lived in Riyadh) to see that the women's faces weren't covered, because typically they are there. But since, I've learned other cities are much different when it comes to how the women dress. 

Usually you can only see their eyes through a small slit in their niqab (face covering). Many women here even have their faces fully covered, so that you can't even see their eyes.

See the woman in the middle?

These are construction advertisements for the Riyadh metro line that they are building here. See the happy family below? The man in his thawb and the woman in her abaya with her veil (niqab) and their little child? I thought this was cool-looking.